The 12 Dumbest Lies Doctors Have Heard From Patients

female doctor
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Many can’t resist lying in a world where truth is supposed to be the best medicine. However, lying can hurt, especially in the medical setting. An online community of doctors goes down the ride of medical hilarity and shares the twelve dumbest things their patients lied about.

1. X-Ray Exposé

X-Ray Exposé
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One doctor mentions a guy who walked in with a bike accident story, but his x-ray spilled the beans: a bullet lounging comfortably in his ankle joint. It turns out he had accidentally shot himself while holding a gun. Yikes!

2. Unconscious Shenanigans

pretending to be unconscious
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A doctor narrates a hilarious incident: a person arrived at the hospital pretending to be unconscious. Despite subjecting him to the most painful stimuli, he remained completely unresponsive. As he contemplated the possibility of intubating him, he suddenly rose up and remarked, “That didn’t work last time!” 

3. Popcorn Privacy

Popcorn viewed from above on yellow background. Flat lay of pop corn bowl. Top view
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A patient undergoing a routine colonoscopy lied to his doctor about not consuming any food in the last twenty-four hours. Well, cut to the physician deep in his colon discovering a bunch of corn kernels. It looks like someone couldn’t resist the temptation! 

4. Sink Saga

Generic Adderall pills from a bottle
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Another doctor mentions a student walking in, claiming to drop his precious Adderall down the sink, not once but twice in the same week of crucial university exams. The lengths we go to score better. That sounds like an addiction to me.

5. Duplicity Diabetes

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During a routine medical checkup, the doctor inquired if the patient had diabetes, which was met with a “No.” Digging deeper, the doctor asked if they were on any medication. ‘Yes, Metformin. For my diabetes. Overwhelmed with disbelief, the doctor mentions face palming in utter exasperation.

6. From Innocence to Infidelity

Pretty woman covering face using a white paper sheet with drawn question mark, like a mask, for hiding her identity
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A lady with a mysterious mark on her face claimed ignorance about its origin. It turns out the woman was cheating on her husband and feared catching herpes. 

7. The Blame Game

Medical urine test, close-up
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Imagine failing a routine urine test and then claiming it is not yours. It’s like blaming the cup for its magical powers of switching it up. Talk about an audacious defense strategy!

8. Age Is Just a Number

Mother asking her teenage daughter. Girl wants to lie to her parent and crossed her fingers
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Lying about your age in social settings is one thing, but lying to your doctor? Jeez. A physician shares his patient lying to him about being 30. Upon checking her medical reports, he discovered she was actually 41!

9. Kiss and Tell

Profile photo of young beautiful people in love expressing love and affection while kissing each other
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Prepare for a jaw-dropping moment. A patient got notified her test results had come back positive for cocaine. In a desperate attempt to salvage the situation, she exclaimed, “I don’t know how! I don’t do drugs!”. 

Then with a sudden burst of inspiration, she declared, “Oh! I know! My boyfriend does some! I kissed him before I came in this morning. So that must be how I tested positive!”—cue to collective facepalms.

10. Flossing Follies

Man with dental floss cleaning teeth at bathroom
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Ah – the age-old deception. People have seemed to master the art of fibbing when it comes to flossing. The truth unfolds as the dentist unravels plaque and signs of gum inflammation.

11. Bandage Betrayal

Portrait of man with bandages wrapped around his head isolated on gray background
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In a shocking turn of events, an individual arrived at the hospital with a bandage wrapped around the head, claiming they fell from the bed. However, the gruesome truth was exposed after an hour in the bustling waiting room. It turned out that this unfortunate individual was caught up in debt owed to some bad people, resulting in a harrowing ordeal.

12. Magnetic Mishaps

Horseshoe magnet isolated on black background
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“I accidentally swallowed a magnet, then swallowed a bunch more to see if they would stick together,” Well, it turns out they do. In fact, they will move across bowel walls for each other’s love!

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Tropic Thunder Ben Stiller
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Written by Saad Muzaffar

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